Journey of a Mom of two amazing children on the spectrum
Sunday, 7 July 2013
"The Necklace" Revisited
I don't usually repost my old writings. But this one has been stuck in my mind this week. It has been one of my most read posts since I started this blog. At first that kind of surprised me since this blog is about autism and this has very little to do with autism directly (although marital difficulties and an autism diagnosis of course go hand in hand). But the more I think about it, it kind of makes sense. There are many of us who have struggled in our marriages and come out the other side. For those who have made it, they can relate to this story very strongly. For those who are still having difficulties, I hope that this story is inspiring. This remains my single favorite piece of jewelry other than my wedding rings, and for me it will always symbolize the breakdown and then healing of our family...
My Necklace (originally written 9/2012)
This necklace is very very special to me. John gave it to me on our wedding day. I wore it nearly every day for the first 6 years of our marriage. Then disaster struck. And it totally mirrored the state of our family. Last November, around one of our lower points as a family, one of the boys grabbed it off of my dresser and threw it on the floor (apparently). I was vacuuming and didn't notice it- you guessed it. I heard that sickening sound of metal being ground against plastic. It broke into 4 pieces. At the time, all I could think was, see, broken- just like everything else (yeah, I was in a really good place back then). I managed to find all the pieces, placed them in a zip lock baggie and put it aside. Figured it was done for.
Around Christmastime John asked me what I would like as a gift. I told him I would like the necklace repaired. I knew it was a long shot, but it really was very special, and I love it. So he took it back to our jeweler, who consequently is the same person who sold John my engagement ring, and he said he would see what he could do. John was able to go pick it up shortly before Christmas. When he gave it back to me, he told me what the jeweler said. He told John that he would fix it this one time, but that if it broke again, the damage would be irreparable. You can see where I am going with this.
I went to put it on, and the chain was uneven, like pretty significantly. I said very little to John about it, just put it away and counted myself lucky that it was intact at all. About 2 months ago, I pulled it back out and put it on again. Yes, it sits a little crookedly on my chest. No, it's not as perfect as it was before. But it is in one piece. I wear it every time I am in something nicer than sweats again now. I acknowledge the fact that it is slightly skewed, and I am proud of that. It completely parallels our family life. Slightly crooked, intact, and beautiful. That is my deep thought for the day.