Wednesday, 21 November 2012


I was just about to sit down and go through the rest of my "list" of things I am grateful for.  The bottom line is that if I did this, I would end up mentioning things that really don't mean that much, and I would rather get to the point.

I am so grateful for my family.  For my cohesive family, for my intact marriage.  For the love that we all share and for all of the hard work we have been able to do because of this.  I never in a million years thought that I could be this happy after such a difficult period.  But my husband still loves me, I still love him, our children are beautiful, they are doing better ever day.  We have a lovely home, we both have jobs, we have wonderful schools for our children and caring practitioners who are willing to go the extra mile to help the boys.  My parents and John's mom have been amazing to us over this past year- despite all of the difficulties we have had their support for us has never once wavered.  They have been in favor of our marriage, they have sacrificed their time over and over again to help us with this.  I am thankful that we found Retrouvaille and then a wonderful marriage counselor.  Although I understand now more than ever that he has been merely a guide, that John and I have been the ones doing the work. 

My sisters- I am so thankful for them.  I can't wait for tomorrow, I get to see both sisters, my brother in law, my niece and nephews and my parents.  We haven't all been together for a holiday in a long time.  It amazes me that the problems John and I have had, especially the boys' diagnoses, have brought my family so much closer together.  That's what counts- when problems surface, when crises hit, who is there?  When you are at the lowest point in your life, when you are fighting tooth and nail for the things that are important to you, look around you.  Who is still standing there in the end?  The people who truly love and support you- and the family that you are fighting for.  I feel very very fortunate to have the family that I do, to have the friends that I do.  The friends that I have?  I trust them all.  They are still here after the worst year of my life (which has turned into one of the best).  They are there crying with John and me, cheering for every single one of Nate's words, texting me when they know I am giving Jack his first B-12 injection to make sure I'm ok.  They're asking about my boys when they have a preemie in the hospital, driving from Indiana and Pennsylvania to be here for Thanksgiving despite a million reasons why they shouldn't be able to.  They are constantly handing me articles in an effort to help me find solutions for the boys- we can't go to one counseling session without getting a new article.  I go to the boys' OT and I am handed books, my mother in law mentioned that one of her students' parents talked about something called GABA and have I tried that?  Everyone is getting into it!  The boys feel this support too, I know it. 

I never thought I would say this, but I am grateful for the strength that I never knew I had.  I am learning that I can live this life, that I can continue to fight for the boys, and I can still be me.  This blog is one of the best things I have ever done for myself- it truly is my diary.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

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