Friday, 15 February 2013

Weary Mommy

Yesterday just sucked.  The Valentine's aspects of the day were great, hubs sent flowers, I made him a s'more bouquet, that was very nice.  I took a half day in order to go to both boys' Valentine's Day parties.

Nate's was up first.  He did pretty well with me there other than being velcro boy- gluing himself to me the minute he saw me.  It's hard to see him in that classroom- almost none of the children are talking, there's some signing and a whole lot attempted interpretation.  Love the teacher though.  From the minute I got there Nate was grabbing my face and saying "ma".  And then "come, go".  AKA let's blow this popsicle stand.  Sweet boy.

Then I went to Jack's class party.  It was a mommy nightmare.  I know he was a bit amped up to have me there, I know he was excited to be at the party.  There were 4 other moms there volunteering, and thank God because I was unable to leave Jack's side the entire time.  He was so off task, I had to literally hold his hands to his craft project to help him focus on actually doing it.  He was running everywhere.  One of the hardest things to see was that some of the kids are starting to react negatively to him.  Wanting him to go away, telling him to be quiet.  The minute they realized I was his mom several kids gathered around me and started telling me that they can't get their work done b/c Jack is always interrupting them.  Believe me, I know the feeling guys.  Still very difficult to hear.  I mean, he is frustrating his classmates.  Several of the kids did tell me that they like Jack, because they like to help him.  There was no aid with him, and I have come to the difficult decision that I need to fight harder than I already have.  He needs someone glued to his side, at the very least.

I walked over to his teacher at one point and said, how is he ever going to be able to be in a classroom?  She said, that's not something I have the power to ask, only you can ask that.  Her answer told me everything I needed to know- this is not working.  Tears sprang to my eyes right there in the classroom, although I managed to hold them off, and they're back right now as I think about it.   I am devastated and don't know where to turn.  I spoke with the advocate and she suggested the administration.  I have spoken with the assistant principal and have a meeting with her and the principal next week.  Piece meal is not going to cut it.  A dedicated aid hopefully will, at this moment, after what I observed yesterday, I'm just not sure of anything anymore.

Please say a little prayer for my spirit, I am feeling very very down right now.


  1. That sounds like a hugely tough day. I am sorry you had to go through that. I do know with Janey, she absolutely doesn't ever want me at her school. I don't volunteer, because of that. It's just too freaky for her to have me there. But your boys are younger and that is a different situations. It sounds at least like they have teachers that care. I've had kids tell me that Janey was acting up, that she was yelling, things like that, but overall, from having her at an inclusion school all these years, I think other kids notice much less of what their classmates do than you'd think. Sometimes I think they like to have a parent there to talk to, and so think up things to tell me.

    I hope today is feeling better. It's a very tough job, being a parent of kids with special needs. You sound fantastic at it, but I know it's still hugely, hugely tough.

  2. I hope you are right about the other kids. There are several really sweet kids in the class also and they were very nice to him. I think the hardest part for me is that he doesn't get it when the kids are mean to him- I mean it's a blessing in some ways, but I just don't feel like he can defend himself....

  3. I know that feeling. I still feel it a lot with my older son, and he's 18! I've talked to him about it, and he says it really, truly doesn't bother him, even when he does see it. It's hard for me to understand or accept, and of course it's different with different people, but he says often when he talks to someone and they really aren't interested or are even actively telling him to be quiet, sometimes he just doesn't care---it's more important to him to get out what he wants to say than it is if the person is interested or polite. But it's still hard to see. In Janey's case, I don't think she'll ever be at the point that she will understand it, and although it seems a little paternalistic of me, I do think of that as a blessing in some ways. I wish I hadn't understood mean girls at some points in my life!