Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Totally Unexpected Validation

We have had the same daycare provider coming to our home for approximately the last year.  She is a retired school teacher and has been just what the doctor ordered. She has a very no nonsense attitude about things, which has been wonderful with regard to working on Jack's fine motor skills.  She totally ignores his resistance and isn't insulted when he gets upset.  She raised three boys herself, she knows what she's talking about.

Working with two little boys on the spectrum has been one aspect of this job that is new to her.  She's wonderful about complying with the boys' diets and with other planned activities I have for them.  She is very respectful of my parenting, although this doesn't stop her from offering her opinion from time to time.

She has always been pretty matter of fact about the boys' issues, and I honestly never thought they affected her that much.  So I was really shocked by what happened while we were talking yesterday.  I had of course invited her to Nate's birthday party, and was frankly pretty disappointed when she said she wouldn't be coming.  She felt like it was a family event and she didn't want to intrude, which I get, but from my perspective, she is one of the few people that Nate has a bond with, so I really wanted her there.  We didn't really talk about it, and she brought his gift over last week so they could play with it together.  She walked in yesterday and asked how the party went.  At first I gave her the "party line"- you know, "really well, everyone had fun"  yada yada.  But she asked me, did Nate seem to get it?  And I told her he wasn't into his gifts, not really into much, but at least LOVED all of the balloons.  To my utter shock tears just started streaming down her face.  She started talking about how hard this must be for me and John, how it's never ending and so frustrating.  She said she prays for our whole family everyday.  I was flabbergasted, but soooooo touched.  There is noone else in our lives who sees our day to day more closely than this woman, noone else who witnesses the struggles we go through to the same extent.  To see her tears actually comforted me.  She gets it, she feels it, she loves our family.  I will be very sad when she moves away.

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