Tuesday 26 June 2012

Go the Bleep to Sleep!

So I just told my husband it would be best not to talk to me this morning.  Last night was ROUGH.  Our children....well I am convinced they are trying to kill us.  Slowly.  Tortuously.  There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.  For the past 5 years, John and I have been living proof of why.  I was one of those parents who when they first heard Samuel L Jackson's narration of Go the F*** to Sleep, actually fell asleep!  Ha, just kidding, but there have been many times that I have wanted to read it to my kids, no matter how inappropriate.   If you are easily offended, please skip the video....after last night, I am a bit out of it.

Jack, who is FIVE, sleeps through the night approximately three nights a week.  Seriously.  Luckily, when he wakes these days, he is usually pretty easy to get back down.  That didn't used to be the case.  Let's just say that when he was about 15 months old I spent approximately 2 months sleeping on a mattress on the floor of his nursery trying to get him to accept his crib.  I have read all the sleep books.  Tried all of the methods.  Notta.  Crying it out?  I did that once.  An hour and 20 minutes in he was hyperventilating and so was I.  So to put it mildly, we have struggled with this issue a lot.  And of course, until I learned more about Asperger's, I didn't know that sleep disturbances are a very common symptom.  I remember at one point when Johnson and Johnson came out with their lavender bath products and advertised "helps baby sleep better", John looked at me with a ridiculous amount of hope in his eyes.  Our kid smelled fabulous when he was screaming in the middle of the night.  Now we use epsom salts...I don't really think that's doing anything either.  Next step will be melatonin, which I have heard wonderful things about, but we shall see.  I mean this is the kid who gets hyperactive with benadryl, so who knows.


Nathan....oh Nathan.  He has always been the "good" sleeper.  Since the day we brought him home from the hospital.  Until now.  Last week when we were in Bethany he boycotted the pack n play, and in the interest of everyone sleeping and having a nice vacation, we let him into bed with us.  Of course this was a big mistake.  Of course I knew this.  Because he may have autism, but more importantly, he is 2.  And he is becoming Mr. Obstinate.  Now, I am told by his ABA teachers, doctors, etc, that being "naughty" is a really good sign (he is thinking independently, knows what he wants, is communicating, etc) and in theory I completely agree.  I invite all of these parties to join me in the middle of the night.  Mr. Nate has been up since 2:30 this morning.  Yup.  Good luck to those teachers today.  We have been very lucky, he hasn't figured out how to climb out of the crib yet, but I can feel it, it's coming.  I keep finding him screaming with his little leg up on the rail, his curtains pulled into the crib, all toys out...he is plotting, haha.  So of course about half an hour in to Nate's shenanigans we hear a thud and looked at each other "oh crap"....and then running.  There's Jack!  Even at 3 am he runs into the room...."mommy, daddy, Jack and Natey, we are all P-38's and we are all black and is your propeller spinning, how many blades do you have, are you taking off?"  Ughh.....daddy got the easier end of the deal last night, he took Jack back to bed and they were both almost instantly back to sleep.  Nate had lots of fun kicking me in the head, pushing up my shirt and grabbing my post-baby belly (he loves my skin for some reason, great for the self-esteem,ha) and throwing his cup at me and saying "more" over and over again.  Finally at 4:30 I decided that he was going to have to cry it out.  And he did.  Out, and out and out.  He never calmed.  On a positive note, he was screaming "go" quite a bit and when I went in to reassure him and was leaving he yelled "no go".  Amazing the language that pops in when he's really angry.  

So as I am writing this, both boys are lying on the floor with droopy eyelids.  Fantastic.  Bet their sitter will get a great nap out of them today.  And then they will be ready for more fun tonight.  To the IT department at my job....if I should call today and tell you that my laptop shorted out because I spilled a glass of water on it I am lying.  I actually drooled on it while holding my eyes open with toothpicks.  Sorry about that....

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