Saturday, 19 March 2016

Great Expectations

When you have your first baby you plan and plan and plan- or so you think. You will do everything "right" and your child's life will be ideal.  Cue reality.

Our reality has been a huge wake up call.  In the beginning it was really hard for me to adjust my expectations.  Jack started out so "advanced" with so many things that when I started to realize he was behind in other areas it was really difficult to stomach.  Add into that my rule follower, high achiever roots- yeah it was a challenge for this mama.

Things that have happened over the past month or so- things that have made my heart SO HAPPY, have made me realize just how far I have come.  

Jack started out on a rough path at his new school.  Weeks of behavioral spikes, refusing to do work, not getting along with peers.  It was terrifying- the constant calls from school- it got to the point where every time they called I thought they were going to ask me to come pick him up (they never did).  Even the bus driver was having issues with him.

What a turn around we have seen.  I guess my appreciation for this can go back to my last post about Nate- it took going through this darker period for me to appreciate the positives that are coming our way now.  

He is bringing home countless COMPLETE and CORRECT assignments.  Up on the fridge those bad boys go- he has never had this experience of consistent success in school before.  If it makes me feel this good I can only imagine what it is doing for his confidence level.  

Doing homework with him has become a completely different experience.  He may complain about it intermittently but compared to the past- when I would be constantly asking him just to look at the paper, it is a cake walk.  And he writes it!! Can't even begin to explain what that is like- he used to limply hold his pencil in his hand and tell me he was not capable of doing it.  

Then this week he had his third grade musical, "science rocks".  I thought they would stand up there and sing a couple of songs- 45 minutes into it I realized this was much more involved than that.  This type of event has always been a land mine for my firstborn.  The noise, the crowds, the expectation to stand still and follow directions.  The APPLAUSE.  Just the clapping alone used to send him into a tailspin and inevitable meltdown.  His dad and I were basically gripping our chairs at the beginning and praying (that he would do ok and that it would end- soon).  My son.  My sweet boy.  Made it the entire way through, and made an effort to sing every single song with a smile on his face.  Did he get the (very involved I might add) hand motions correct?  Not on your life!  Did he have periods where he couldn't stop giggling and the proper little girl standing next to him (she reminded me of myself when I was their age) was constantly jabbing him and telling him to simmer down?  100%.  For the first time in my life as a mom- I didn't worry- I actually wanted to tell the little girl to chill out- kind of symbolic I'm thinking 😜.  He even made it through the science fair awards and the once again constant applause.

I imagine most of the parents who attended this adorable show went and thought it was cute and enjoyed it.  I ended the successful evening in tears because I couldn't believe what my baby had achieved.  

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