Sometimes I think I am just not looking in the right places. No, I know I am not. After appointments like last weekend's at NIH, and this past Thursday's with the new specialist (not ready to go into this yet- that's another post, later this week), I can get caught up in terms like "deficits" and "delays", and forget that my boys' lives are not about these people and their definitions of what kids their age should be doing. Their lives are about doing what they can do to the best of their abilities. Today was a nice reminder of that.
When I first had Jack, none of my family lived nearby. My parents were literally across the country. I was so very blessed when they moved to Maryland several years ago, right after Nate's first birthday. God was watching out for me, that's for sure. We had Easter dinner at my parent's house for the fourth year in a row today. WOW! That's like, a tradition, lol. And I was able to remember a little about each of those years. What I can say after thinking about it is that things are changing. In Jack's case, there is self-regulation happening, in Nate's case there is increased awareness, and a definite increased ability to express his wants and needs.
Jack kept himself from having several meltdowns today that two years ago, or even last year could have gotten really ugly. He is SLOWLY learning to be a bit more polite- he has that raw honesty kid thing going in spades, and it's really hard to teach him that things need to be done "because it's the nice way to do things". AKA, if you are hoping for candy in your Easter eggs from the hunt and there is sidewalk chalk, say thank you, not "where's the candy??". Sigh. Thank God it was my parents, haha. Jack is a corker lately too. He is going through a "bad word police" phase right now. So he will walk around all day going "oh my gooooooo...." "sh" or "d" and then quickly glance over at me to see if I am going to correct him (if he says God of course). And if I do, he tells me all his friends say it, and his cousins said it was ok (OH MY GOD- my kid said his friends are saying it- social cue, whoot! and his cousins most certainly did NOT say that, lol). Or, if mom or dad say anything that could be even remotely skewed into sounding like a bad word, he calls us out on it. It's kind of exhausting, If I am being honest. Today's newest trial was pretty hilarious, and one we couldn't think of a way to correct. He was sitting in the back seat and it sounded like he said "what the hell". John and I look at each other and both say, hey! I explained to him that Hell is not ok to say. He said, "no mom h-i-l-l". So he walks around most of the day exclaiming "what the hill!". And what on God's green earth are we to say to this? I mean, it's grammatically incorrect, I guess, but that's about all I've got.
Nathan- he sat at the table with us for dinner and was on fire with wanting ham, constantly pointing, saying I want, etc. John swears he ate half a pig. Ha. He looked for some eggs during the egg hunt, and seemed somewhat interested. Later we were outside playing and he walked over to our car and said "ina, ina". (in). Then he said "go", "I go". He was asking to go home. Well holy moly! This was great for Mr. Natey. And something we NEVER would have hoped for a year ago. And you know what?? THAT is what I need to focus on. Yes, I am still working on helping him function at a higher level, and no I am not accepting where we are as our final destination developmentally, but I still need to allow myself the time to stop and enjoy our progress. Even if it's small, we have worked damn hard for any gains we see.
So on a day when we should all count our blessings, I am able to see mine a bit more clearly. And here's my little Easter treat for you- here they are over the past several years- look how much they've grown! My sweet boys
2011
2013
When I first had Jack, none of my family lived nearby. My parents were literally across the country. I was so very blessed when they moved to Maryland several years ago, right after Nate's first birthday. God was watching out for me, that's for sure. We had Easter dinner at my parent's house for the fourth year in a row today. WOW! That's like, a tradition, lol. And I was able to remember a little about each of those years. What I can say after thinking about it is that things are changing. In Jack's case, there is self-regulation happening, in Nate's case there is increased awareness, and a definite increased ability to express his wants and needs.
Jack kept himself from having several meltdowns today that two years ago, or even last year could have gotten really ugly. He is SLOWLY learning to be a bit more polite- he has that raw honesty kid thing going in spades, and it's really hard to teach him that things need to be done "because it's the nice way to do things". AKA, if you are hoping for candy in your Easter eggs from the hunt and there is sidewalk chalk, say thank you, not "where's the candy??". Sigh. Thank God it was my parents, haha. Jack is a corker lately too. He is going through a "bad word police" phase right now. So he will walk around all day going "oh my gooooooo...." "sh" or "d" and then quickly glance over at me to see if I am going to correct him (if he says God of course). And if I do, he tells me all his friends say it, and his cousins said it was ok (OH MY GOD- my kid said his friends are saying it- social cue, whoot! and his cousins most certainly did NOT say that, lol). Or, if mom or dad say anything that could be even remotely skewed into sounding like a bad word, he calls us out on it. It's kind of exhausting, If I am being honest. Today's newest trial was pretty hilarious, and one we couldn't think of a way to correct. He was sitting in the back seat and it sounded like he said "what the hell". John and I look at each other and both say, hey! I explained to him that Hell is not ok to say. He said, "no mom h-i-l-l". So he walks around most of the day exclaiming "what the hill!". And what on God's green earth are we to say to this? I mean, it's grammatically incorrect, I guess, but that's about all I've got.
Nathan- he sat at the table with us for dinner and was on fire with wanting ham, constantly pointing, saying I want, etc. John swears he ate half a pig. Ha. He looked for some eggs during the egg hunt, and seemed somewhat interested. Later we were outside playing and he walked over to our car and said "ina, ina". (in). Then he said "go", "I go". He was asking to go home. Well holy moly! This was great for Mr. Natey. And something we NEVER would have hoped for a year ago. And you know what?? THAT is what I need to focus on. Yes, I am still working on helping him function at a higher level, and no I am not accepting where we are as our final destination developmentally, but I still need to allow myself the time to stop and enjoy our progress. Even if it's small, we have worked damn hard for any gains we see.
So on a day when we should all count our blessings, I am able to see mine a bit more clearly. And here's my little Easter treat for you- here they are over the past several years- look how much they've grown! My sweet boys
2011
2014
Wonderful! It's so easy to get discouraged and that makes it SO SO important to acknowledge progress, even if it seems small. And it sounds like you have a beautiful Easter day - THAT will be a GOOD memory to carry with you! :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you see all of the little progresses - so important!
ReplyDeleteAll those small things add up and one day you look back and say when did that happen? lol
ReplyDelete