Accomplishments Only An Autism Parent Could Love.....

Us Autism parents develop crackhead senses of humor, it's just necessity.  The "new normal" is not just a catch phrase, it is truly a way of life, and let me tell you, as an autism parent, if you don't find your way to this place, you're gonna be pretty miserable.  Normal developmental milestones just don't apply, so you kind of create your own.  We have had a few lately that have been particularly ridiculous so I thought I would share here...
Here are some things that John and I are proud of that may make you shake your head...

1.  Jack is obsessed with hunting and guns right now.  The gun thing drives us both crazy- and he doesn't even own any!  However he turns sticks, golf clubs, mechanical robot arms, and large bubble wands into guns- he also made me build a robot gun out of his gears set this past weekend- this is amazing pretend play, so whoohoo!!!

2.  Nathan is developing a very jealous/possessive streak when it comes to mama.  Jack cannot sit on the opposite end of the couch from me without Nathan screaming because he doesn't want him that close to me.  He walks over and smacks him.  On the plus side- they are interacting!!!!! AND- Nate is communicating!

3.  I mentioned the potty training debacle with Nathan the other night, the fact that he umm, pooped on the floor.  John was downstairs while this was going on and all he heard was cheering.  He knew we were trying the potty and he came running upstairs to celebrate the success, so you can imagine his surprise when he walked into a poop filled room.  He looked at me like, umm, WHAT are you cheering about???  The answer- some pee got in the potty AND he didn't smear the poop!

4.  John and I were outside the other night when John looked up and saw Nathan in our bedroom window.  Which is over our bed.  And this was after bedtime.  He was standing there pouring water from my water glass onto my pillow.  We were tickled pink.  Hey, he opened the door all by himself!  We love ALL developmental milestones around here!

5.  Jack came home from being out with a family member who gave him contraband ice cream the other night (he is still dairy free).  He puked in the bathtub- thank God; because after he got rid of the dairy we avoided the usual resulting hyperactivity and he slept through the night.

6. I am secretly thrilled every time Nathan throws a temper tantrum- he knows what he wants, and he is passionate enough about it to make his feelings really well known.  We are ecstatic with any and all communication attempts, even if they involve him screaming hysterically, throwing himself on the ground and yelling "bad, bad, bad" for good measure

And now some visual accomplishments:

7.  They are sitting near each other- and Jack isn't trying to sit on him; and Nate isn't hitting Jack! All parents can appreciate this to some extent, however, in my boys' case, this has happened maybe 4 times- like, ever

8.  Jack saw this crab on his school field trip.  He was able to walk away from it without having a meltdown.  He told every single person he saw for the rest of the day ALL about it, but he did not have a meltdown.  I cannot state more emphatically how huge this was for Jack.  Score!

9.  This one serves a double duty- he let me cut his hair.  AND he's looking at the camera!!!!  Huge accomplishment for a kiddo with autism on both counts.

10.  Nate uses an app called "choice board" on the IPAD.  He is now choosing several items correctly when he wants them (he touches them, they enlarge on the screen, he touches them again and my voice says the word- that's his way of asking for something- and food is the main motivator for him)

Is it all complete and utter CRAP??? Absofreakinglutely!  Do I care?  If he asks appropriately for these things?  Nope.  That's right, I will let my kid eaten gluten and dairy free JUNK if he communicates with me.  Hearing my own voice say "chip" is music to my ears. 

The funniest part of all of this to me is that these sound like perfectly normal things to be proud of now.  The first time Jack smeared poop when he was a little over 2 years old I thought I would DIE.  Now if Nate does it, I sigh, grab the lysol wipes and investigate just how far he got in the process without missing a beat.  John's job is to toss him in the shower and squirt soap in his general vicinity.  Hey, it's teamwork.

Shear Avoidance

OK, I will admit it.  Nathan is starting to look like a little vagabond.  He has had such a rough time with haircuts lately that I have been putting it off for....well let's just say awhile.  I mean, he starts crying when we pull into the parking lot of the haircut place.  And I have yet to find a place that is really sensory friendly for the boys to go for their haircuts.  I am open to suggestions, if you have any, spill.  The people at the Hair Cuttery have been just plain old rude- I walked in with Nate this evening and the receptionist immediately said, it's going to be at least an hour (this with an empty waiting room and the stylists chatting), she further explained that they all had appointments "coming up".  I wanted to scream, "it's taken me 3 months to work up the motivation to bring this kid, and it  will take you 10 minutes.....PLEASE!!!".  But of course, instead, I said thank you very much we'll try another time.  Do not suggest that cute kid's place in Annapolis either (pigtails and crewcuts), worst EVER.  Try taking your child with asperger's, who is obsessed with airplanes, to a place where he gets to sit on a silver propeller plane for his haircut.....or wait 45 minutes specifically for said plane, get to sit on it for 10 minutes and then leave.  It's not a pretty picture!!!  So yeah, we stopped going there.  My aunt happened to send me the link to an amazing place for kids like mine...in California.  sigh
http://www.thairapyhairsalon.com/

Here is the description:

"for exceptional clientele"

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is a family salon specializing in and catering to our clientele with AUTISM and SPECIAL NEEDS. From our sensory wall, to our wheelchair accessible shampoo bowl & station, to our specially trained therapy dog arriving in December. We are continuously striving to offer the best of the best to each and every one of our clients.

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is here to change the way parents and kids feel about haircut day.

We look forward to seeing you!

This. sounds. amazing!!!!!!!

So, if anyone in Maryland knows of someone looking for a new career path---- there would be a HUGE market for this type of facility in our area.  Please, please, please please????  It's so exciting to see these types of places popping up.  I mean, I realize that I am already very blessed- we have a gluten-free bakery, excellent county schools, a special needs daycare, awesome OT, and amazing doctors all within 10 minutes of our house.  But I want this too!  

So once I realized the haircut wasn't going to happen today, I decided to run a few errands with Nathan.  No big deal right?  Actually, it's a very big deal.  First of all, he and I rarely get one on one time it seems, and when we do it's because daddy and Jack are out somewhere and we are home.  And if I go out, I usually take Jack.  Nate is so easily overstimulated that he usually melts down pretty quickly when we do go out.  I am slowly getting over the meltdown thing though.  Not like I have a choice.  So we went to Babies R Us to pick up a gift.  I was very proud of him, other than throwing his cup every 30 seconds and screaming bloody murder every time I stopped the cart for more than 20 seconds, he held it together pretty well.  There were only a couple of  dark moments for mommy.  Up until this point, when I have had Nathan out with me, people have said things like "what a cute baby" or "hi sweetie".  Today, several times actually, a salesperson, or another customer asked him a question.  "what have you got there buddy?" and  "are you helping mommy?"  Nothing.  He's not a baby anymore.  And he doesn't answer questions, he rarely speaks.  I'm still excited if I say "ready, set" and he says "go".  The looks are starting- the concerned faces, and even occasional looks of disapproval.  But how does one respond in this situation?  I certainly am not going to explain why he is not speaking to every Tom, Dick, and Harry.  I am not going to plaster a bumper sticker for "Autism Speaks" across his forehead.  So I guess I just have to stand there and play dumb?  Or act like it's perfectly normal?  When Jack is with us, he overshadows Nathan so much that this really doesn't come up.  But I have to admit that it is becoming more obvious to the outside observer that something is off.  I have to think on this for awhile.  I have to come up with some type of defense mechanism to get through this.  Because the whole eyes filling with tears thing isn't going to cut it in the long term.  I know I will grow a thicker skin.  And I still have hope that MAYBE someday Nathan will answer them.  In the meantime, I am at a bit of a loss.  Once again, suggestions welcome from my mommies.  Unless it is something like "what are you looking at" or "F off".  Not gonna work for me.  And it would be just my luck that Nathan would choose that moment to start repeating me- ha!  At this point, if he told someone to "F off" I would probably clap, cry and jump up and down.  Once again, the new normal.  

for exceptional clientele"

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is a family sa

"for exceptional clientele"

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is a family salon specializing in and catering to our clientele with AUTISM and SPECIAL NEEDS. From our sensory wall, to our wheelchair accessible shampoo bowl & station, to our specially trained therapy dog arriving in December. We are continuously striving to offer the best of the best to each and every one of our clients.

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is here to change the way parents and kids feel about haircut day.

We look forward to seeing you!

"for exceptional clientele"

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is a family salon specializing in and catering to our clientele with AUTISM and SPECIAL NEEDS. From our sensory wall, to our wheelchair accessible shampoo bowl & station, to our specially trained therapy dog arriving in December. We are continuously striving to offer the best of the best to each and every one of our clients.

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is here to change the way parents and kids feel about haircut day.

We look forward to seeing you!

"for exceptional clientele"

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is a family salon specializing in and catering to our clientele with AUTISM and SPECIAL NEEDS. From our sensory wall, to our wheelchair accessible shampoo bowl & station, to our specially trained therapy dog arriving in December. We are continuously striving to offer the best of the best to each and every one of our clients.

tHAIRapy Hair Salon is here to change the way parents and kids feel about haircut day.

We look forward to seeing you!